Saturday, December 29, 2007

Hey, Thanks For The Shitty Gift! Now Where's My $10?

My final family Christmas party just wrapped up a few hours ago which for me marks the official end of the Christmas Season. (About God dammed time. sorry Jesus). The Christmas gathering with my father's side of the family is always an interesting one and usually pretty entertaining considering that, unlike my mother's side of the family, there are people close to my age, people who drink and people who have a generally hysterical sense of humor. One of the traditions for this family is to do a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange where everyone brings a $10 gift, puts it in the center and draws numbers to see who picks the gifts first. When this tradition started the gifts were tame, but as the years progressed the gifts got funnier and raunchier. I rememberer one year in particular when I got a can of SPAM, soap on a rope and a pack of Kool cigarettes. Apparently this year however, most people decided that it was time for nice (or at least decent) gifts instead of the traditional tacky gags. This would be fine, IF SOMEONE TOLD ME. I opened my gift, a 6-pack of Yeungling beer and a box of chocolates. Pretty nice. Someone opened my gift, a life-sized plastic hand with a tube connected to a squeeze pump. Squeeze the pump and the middle finger on the hand shoots up. Oh, and there's a suction cup on the bottom to "attach to car windows" (so says the package). To me, that's funny. To someone expecting a $10 gas card, not funny. The only solace I can take is that my aunt and father both bought delightfully tacky gifts also, so at least I wasn't the only one. Next year I'm just putting 10 bucks in a card and saying "To hell with it".

1 comment:

Cyclops said...

I would have been delighted to get the blow-up middle finger as I'm experiencing what it's like driving around here. Toto, we ain't in Indiana anymore! But I share in your out-of-the-loopness.