Hi, I'm Rock. Let's Shoot a Moose.

Jen-nay tipped me off to this fun little site , (presumably prompted by a beer-fueled conversation last night about Sarah Palin and her children) which tells you what your name would be if you were a Palin offspring. Personally the Republican VP candidate makes my skin crawl, as do the names of her god-knows-how-many children: Bristol, Piper, Track, Willow, and Trig (which apparently is Norse for "strength", potentially cool, but whatever). So what's your Palin name? Type it in and find out. Had I been lucky enough to be birthed into that skwacky right-wing gun-toting family, you would not be reading "The World According To Drewby", but rather "The World According To ROCK CRANE PALIN". I think my Palin name is much more rugged and sexy, but we must sacrifice some things for sanity.

Why My Parents Rock

This "Welcome Home" present, a toilet bowl brush that looks like George W. Bush, was waiting for me at their house when I returned from California:

Photo Essay Of My 4th Of July Experience

His name is "Bunkey"

Any half chub in gold looks bigger.

It's hard to tell, but there is a man in an outhouse in the back of a pickup truck with his pants down.

Men who can't wait to get away from their wives.


Best patriotic line of the day: "Sorry about your dick weeping cancer, Greg."

HAPPY 4TH!

Not So Yum-O

I found this article last month, and have been meaning to blog about it's ridiculousness for a while. The gist of the story is that some conservative right-wingers had beef with Rachael Ray's new Dunkin' Donuts commercial. Not because Republicans don't allow themselves simple joys like donuts or even that Rachael's voice distracts them from their work of sucking souls, but because of what she is wearing. Apparently Republican's have become the fashion police, the global fashion police. Surprise surprise, something else for them to have their panties in a bunch about. According to the MSNBC article, right wing people with some pull claimed that Rachael is wearing what appeared to be a kaffiyeh, which is an Arab head wrap. This of course confuses the general American audience, and tricks them into believing that supporting religious radicals and terrorists is a good thing, and now can't make the difference between a greasy donut-pushing television host and a Muslim extremist.

To me, (and probably anyone else with a rational bone in their body) the scarf looks like a hip fashion trend. I actually like the look, and wouldn't mind having one like it. In fact, Kanye West is even wearing one in his new video with Chris Martin. Oh wait, he already is the enemy of the Bush regime. What's worse, instead of Dunkin' Donuts' advertising team standing up to these goons and defending this ridiculous claim, they pulled the ad! Whatever Dunkin' Donuts, whatever.

What prompted me to finally get around to writing about this article was a conversation I had with a woman who I met at a wedding this weekend. This woman works for an advertising agency which handles some of Rachael Ray's products, which means this woman has met and worked with Rachael herself. I was a little bit surprised to hear her tell me that in real life, behind the camera and the overly kitschy Catskill Mountains charm, Rachael is "a total bitch". According to my conversation, she's a chain-smoker who won't leave Manhattan. I personally enjoy this little bit of information about Rachael. She seems a little too cute and campy on her shows (and her talk show is a disaster), so the smoking and bad attitude give her a bit of cred in my opinion. Terrorist sympathizer or not, any chain-smoking, trash-talking, beer-swilling mountain girl is my type of TV Chef.

Waaaaa?

I filled up my gas tank tonight to the tune of $61.08.

I think my feelings can best be summed up by Kurt Cobain:

	Nirvana - Rape me
	Found at skreemr.com

Incase You've Missed Them...

Tales From The Crypt

Well, I've made the voyage back to my parents house to visit for the weekend, and in my 15 short hours at home it's already been quite an interesting experience. Last night when I arrived, my parents and I decided to go to dinner to this small restaurant close to their house. I have always liked going to this place and the food is very good. It used to be a speakeasy during prohibition and the decor of the place has changed very little since then. (literally) When we got there, around 8 or so, the bar area was already full with the local drunks, which is always a highlight for me. Halfway through dinner my dad started to regale me with stories of his drinking days with "Birdman", a shifty looking man halfway sitting on his stool. And how he and "Birdman" and "Smoker" and "Chunky" used to come to that very bar well before their legal drinking age. (Which, coincidentally, I too can remember imbibing at this bar before my legal age). Then a man named "PeeWee" bought our table a round of drinks, and no one really seemed to know who "PeeWee" was. Ok, thanks for the beer PW!
At some point after arriving home my whole family feel asleep in front of the TV, and I woke up to a Marlon Brando movie at midnight.
Flash forward to this morning. My grandpa and I went out for breakfast at the town's one and only restaurant. The place is always filled with locals for breakfast, usually my grandpas age. Mixed in with our conversation I couldn't help but overhear other table's conversations which included topics such as how a black Muslim or a woman would never be good enough to run our country, the obscene number of abortions that happen and what needs to be done to stop it, and how the cold is really "doin' a number" on the local farms and cows. NOW I remember why I wanted to move far, far away. I also had the opportunity to listen to a conversation between the man who used to drive the bookmobile when I was en elementary school and his friend about flat chested women. Oh, and I forgot I had to park my car (with anti-republican propaganda bumper stickers) in between a large truck with a gun-rack and bumper sticker that said "I am the NRA and I support the President and the troops" and a small pick-up with a "G.W. Bush again in 2008" bumper sticker. Um, I'm getting the hell out of here. Now, I must say although the majority of my morning had to deal with hickish rightwinger bullshit, it's not usually the case the entire time. I guess it was just my lucky day.

My Body, My Choice.

Today is the the 35th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, making abortion legal. Although not a huge fan of killing babies, I do like personal rights and am, therefore, an evil "Pro-choicer". Today would have been a good day for Jen-nay and I to make our tour downtown to harass the pro-lifers with their toddler children holding signs with pictures of abortions on a busy street. (Which shows complete concern for the welfare of children) Let's keep in mind that this important court decision represents more than just abortion rights, and let's vote out the bastards who want to change it. Happy R. v. Wade Day!

No Spin Zone...

I've been wanting to blog this for several days, since I first heard about it, but I haven' had the chance. And now it's big new. So, in case you haven't heard, Bill O'Reilly is a racist back-tracking bastard. Recently Bill recounted a trip he made with Al Sharpton to Harlem restaurant Sylvia's. Commenting on his dining experience in the predominately black restaurant; "I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City,... There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who [was] screaming,'M-Fer was, I want more iced tea," . He goes on to say "[It] was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all." Really? You mean, black people eat at restaurants the same way rich white Republican men do? I had no idea!
O'Reilly has taken a lot of heat for this lately, and some have compared his comments to that of fellow right-wing cohort Don Imus. Bill's dining partner that afternoon even said his comments were "disturbing and surprising".

In his own defense, O'Reilly has said that if one listened to the entire conversation, he was making a social commentary on the outrageousness of racism. People have made the comment that his point was taken out of context, and perhaps he was a bit inarticulate. Bill O'Reilly is a lot of things, but inarticulate is not one of them. He's well spoken (although most things spoken are bullshit), and knows how to talk on television. I think he knew exactly what he was saying, and how he was saying it, because really, who is his fan base? His comment can be skewed to sound sarcastically anti-racist, but at the end of the day, he just comes off sounding like a bigot.

Ummm, Hillary?

It's sad but true, I'm becoming less and less enchanted with Hillary Clinton as time goes on. Don't get me wrong, I would vote for her in an East Hampton minute if it means a vote against a republican. But if nothing else, her cackling on FOX news yesterday morning would have been enough to seal the deal for most. She seemed a little high, which could prove to be interesting I suppose. Hillary did a bunch of talk shows yesterday where she pumped her agenda for healthcare (of which I agree) and apparently tried to show her perfect melange of knowledge and humor, but in my humble opinion just made her look squaky. In fact, the prestigious backdrop of books in her interviews was actually a set created in a room in the back of her house for interviews. I'm sure a lot of people do this, but it's just terribly annoying. Watch this clip of her interview with Chris Wallace from FOX (who is a total douche bag by the way, but aren't they all at Fox News?) This unreasonable laugh was brought about by this question from Wallace, "Why do you and the president [Bill Clinton] have such a hyper-partisan view of politics?" Now, to me, that does seem like calling the kettle black coming from him, but really Hillary, Really?



I'm also a little pissy with her definite stance against marriage equality. And am wondering also about her new drop of her maiden name Rodham. Maybe sounded a little too matronly.

I also enjoy this clip of Fred Thompson campaigning at the NRA convention (insert any form of douche-bag here) All thats missing from the applause is a couple open-air straight up shots.

BBC News Coverage on Creationism Museum

The Boom Boom Room

I was just channel surfing and happened to stop on FOX news to catch Geraldo Rivera sending off to a commercial in front of some war protesters. The story coming up after the break was, of course, about Sen. Craig and the bathroom scandal. To send off, he says "Up next, we'll be talking about gay sex in the men's room. I bet these protesters know a lot about gay sex in the men's room". Cut to a recreated clip of the bottom of a bathroom stall with a mans foot tapping and the caption read "Boom Boom Boom, Let's Go To The Men's Room". Outraged by what I heard and saw, I of course kept watching after the break, and it only got better. Coming back on an aerial view of the protesters, Geraldo said "We're back and so is the radical, some communisit group, no, I don't know who the hell they are." Who the FUCK is Gerlado Rivera, and where does he get off? Whether you agree with the protesters or not, isn't it the job of any good reporter to stay unbiased on all issues? (By the way, no other mention of the protest has been made, and all I can gather is that they are protesting there because FOX news set up there.) I guess that is what you should expect from the "fair and balanced" news station of FOX, but his comments just seem WAY out of line. To go on, he calls the group "One of the least attractive group of protesters I have ever seen". Really? GERALDO has the right of calling them unattractive?

The best part of the segment was the story about the sex scandal by Laurie Dhue done completely in a men's public restroom mixed with dramatizations of what happened.

Instead of ranting and bitching about the absurdity of everything I just saw and heard, I'm going to let it speak for itself. The sad thing is, for a lot of America, this is their only news source.