Could you commit to something, please?
I have, in the past month, began and read the first 2 chapters (or so) of exactly five books. All of which have been sitting on my bookshelves. I have full intention of finishing them someday. When the time is right. Maybe this summer. Yes that's right, when I'm free in the summer, and can enjoy my books. Or was that my plan for these books last summer? No, it was the summer before, and I just haven't gotten around to it. Point is, I commit to nothing and procrastinate everything.
"But they're only books, Drewby" you might say. But, you see, it's much more than that. The books are only a catalyst to a bigger problem. As time goes on, I'm slowly learning more and more about myself, and lately I've discovered I'm a completely noncommittal person. (Except of course for my vices which I have absolutely no problem committing to). Take for example my love affair with studying and playing music. For a period in my life, I could think of nothing but playing music. I ate, slept and breathed playing Chopin nocturnes and thought I would do it for the rest of my life. Fast forward seven years and now I don't touch a keyboard unless it has the alphabet printed on it. I thought I would revive my music flare with the guitar, and although I haven't given up on it, there it sits, lonely and unplayed in the corner of my living room. My Italian classes started off with a bang, b
ut fizzled somewhere in between ...due, tre, quattro... and Quanto costa un biglietto? Oh yeah, and that workout plan I devised and the exercise regime tapped to my spare room door? I'll be working on that. Just as soon as I get my bathroom scale fixed...All of this boils down to two of the traits I detest most about myself: procrastination tinged with a little bit of laziness (O.K. a lot of laziness sometimes). I think as another summer rolls around, I need to implement a late, or mid-year resolution: to finish what I start and commit to at least one damn thing. Who's with me?
3 comments:
When it comes to reading books, I am fairly systematic. Once I start one, I try to finish it, and give up on it only if it's excruciatingly difficult to keep on reading it. The one book that I started (nearly a year ago) and have not touched in months is Ferdinand Céline's Voyage au bout de la nuit - I still have the best intentions of finishing it, though.
I read Water for Elephants, and did not care much for that book. I have read some Annie Proulx stuff before, but did not care much for her writing style.
I know exactly what you mean about procrastination and not getting stuff finished. Why am I writing a comment on your blog instead of attending to my end-of-the-semester grading?
I also feel like my book reading (or lack thereof) is indicative of my state of mind. I buy, buy, buy books, but then never open them, or start the first chapter a few times, but never really dig in. Just like life. I procrastinate to the point of near-disaster at work. My house is always a mess. I call off work then spend all morning playing games on facebook or watching reruns of ER from 10 years ago. My current goal is to get my shit together after I quit work, get back to school. I tell myself that I'm miserable at work & depressed in general & that's why I can't commit to anything...I just hope that's the real reason & when I'm happy it'll get better.
Or the shorter response -- I'm with you! The summer of get 'er done!
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