Hey, Thanks For The Shitty Gift! Now Where's My $10?

My final family Christmas party just wrapped up a few hours ago which for me marks the official end of the Christmas Season. (About God dammed time. sorry Jesus). The Christmas gathering with my father's side of the family is always an interesting one and usually pretty entertaining considering that, unlike my mother's side of the family, there are people close to my age, people who drink and people who have a generally hysterical sense of humor. One of the traditions for this family is to do a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange where everyone brings a $10 gift, puts it in the center and draws numbers to see who picks the gifts first. When this tradition started the gifts were tame, but as the years progressed the gifts got funnier and raunchier. I rememberer one year in particular when I got a can of SPAM, soap on a rope and a pack of Kool cigarettes. Apparently this year however, most people decided that it was time for nice (or at least decent) gifts instead of the traditional tacky gags. This would be fine, IF SOMEONE TOLD ME. I opened my gift, a 6-pack of Yeungling beer and a box of chocolates. Pretty nice. Someone opened my gift, a life-sized plastic hand with a tube connected to a squeeze pump. Squeeze the pump and the middle finger on the hand shoots up. Oh, and there's a suction cup on the bottom to "attach to car windows" (so says the package). To me, that's funny. To someone expecting a $10 gas card, not funny. The only solace I can take is that my aunt and father both bought delightfully tacky gifts also, so at least I wasn't the only one. Next year I'm just putting 10 bucks in a card and saying "To hell with it".

Ok, Thanks!

Well, it's been here and passed already. Christmas is over, and if you're anything like me, you're left shaking your head with a Christmas hangover wondering what the hell just happened. It's such a "joyful" time of year, and fun to prepare for, but it seems so fleeting you almost don't get a chance to really enjoy it.
My Christmas was very nice, and even though it was a whirlwind, it was at the same time relaxing. Christmas morning was the traditional opening of gifts at my parents house with my sister and her family. My parents, as usual went way overboard, but I ended up getting some really cool things. My "it" gift this year is a very cool progressive alarm clock from my parents. This clock, instead of the typical beeping alarm that makes you want to throw it through your bedroom wall, emits a soft light one half hour before your set time to wake up, and gradually gets brighter throughout the thirty minutes, simulating the sunrise. While this happens, it releases aromatherapy scents that you choose as well as softly plays one of six relaxing sounds, such as the ocean, a thunderstorm, nighttime crickets or a stream in the woods. This happens for 30 minutes before your set time to wake up, each of the sense stimulators gradually gets stronger throughout this time. I've tried it the past two mornings, and it's woken me up about 15 minutes before I wanted to get up. Which, under normal circumstances would piss me off like crazy, but it's such a relaxing and invigorating feeling. I am, however, a bit apprehensive to use it when I really have to get up for work next week. I'll keep you updated on it's effectiveness.
I hope everyone had an awesome holiday. What was everyone's "it" gift this year?

A Festivus For The Rest Of Us

It's already that time of year, and somehow it always seems that I'm taken completely by surprise that it's Christmas. I'm heading up to visit my family for a week today and still can't believe tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I have, however, made my place look a bit festive for the holidays. Even though I am vehemently against the commercial and religious ideals of the holiday, I seem to fall into the cycle every year for the sake of tradition. Plus I do like having a Christmas tree and decorations around my place. It makes it feel a bit more homey and comfortable. I believe this impulse for Christmas decorations comes to me also from my parents, who always have the most lavish and beautiful Christmas decorations up for at least two months. My mother, who has mellowed considerably over the past few years, has always been unreasonably picky about her Christmas trees. Although they are always very beautiful, my father, sister and I were never really allowed to touch the tree or help decorate, and if we did, it was always under her strict supervision. The family tree, usually a concolor fir that smells like oranges, is typically loaded with clear lights and covered in crystals which makes it look like it's dripping with ice. Very pretty and show stopping no doubt, but not child friendly nor practical. To this end, we usually had a second tree in the other room which my sister and I could decorate anyway we wanted. Usually with tinsel, colored lights and old-school ornaments. My own tree at my place is just as delightfully tacky and pretty much suits me. It's a hodgepodge of representative ornaments, with the underlying theme or chili peppers. Most of the ornaments have a Latin American or Spanish theme, from the glass mariachi band, to the chilipeppers with faces saying "Feliz Navidad". It also has colored chili pepper lights, with the tree topper a large bunch of chilis. The newest addition this year is the bubble lights, which I was quite excited about. Also around my place I've put up my nutcrackers which are a mariachi band member and a bull fighter, my two favorite Christmas decorations, as well as wreaths made of old book pages, a different twist on Christmas decos. What are some of your holiday decorating traditions? Even though in a week it will be time to take it all down, it's nice to have your home feel festive for a little while.

Get Your Learn On!

Today, one of my students gave me a CD he said he particularly liked, and thought I would enjoy it also because some of their songs are in French. I don't really know this kid very well, because my class just began two weeks ago, but he's seems like the kind of person I would take music advice from. (even if he is some 12 years younger than me). And I was right. The disc is "Emperor Tomato Ketchup" by Stereolab, a band I have never heard of before, which possibly makes me really uncool. They've been called "one of the most fiercely independent and original groups of the nineties" and have a pretty extensive article on Wikipedia. The band, made up of both English and French members, has a mellow yet upbeat quasi-techno sound that I really like, and about 5 of the 13 songs on this particular album are in French. I think my favorite song is "Metronomic Underground", which I can't find a good version to share here, but look it up if you get a chance.

I can't believe I've never heard of them before, and it took a teenager to open my eyes to them. But, I'm glad he did, it's definitely some good and different jamming music.

5 Sounds That Soothe Me

• a running humidifier
• pen writing on paper
• wooden wind chimes
  
• fire crackling
  
• silent snowy nights
  

Manic Monday

Yin'z Want Some Guac?

It looks like Rick Sebak will have some new Kennywood memories to rant about on the next PBS special. Complete with serapes and maracas. Oh wait, those are Mexican not Spanish. I'm just trying to be silly. In case you haven't heard, Kennywood is being bought by a Madrid-based company called "Parques Reunidos". And, according to the news, this company buys and owns amusement parks all over the world. Being a Pittsburgh implant, I've never really shared the nostalgic passion for Kennywood as many of my cohorts do. Yeah, the Racer's cool, Potato Patch fries...whatever, Noah's Ark...creepy. I've actually only ever been there a handful of times, but every time I've gone, it's been enjoyable. So, I can see why some people who grew up with "Kennywood Memories" might be a bit miffed by the sellout. However on Channel 4 news yesterday afternoon, Mary Lou Rosemeyer, spokesperson for the park, set all the Yinzers at ease (or at least the racist ones) when she assured Pittsburgh that they do not expect big changes in the park. No they do not expect it "to become a giant taco stand", end quote. Thanks for the careless and stereotypical comment Mar! Well, it would be stereotypical if tacos were Spanish. I think the comment might have been a little snappier, maybe even laughable had it been a paella (or pie-ella) stand. Or even a tapas bar. But a taco stand? I'm sorry Mary, I thought you were in public relations. I thought it was your job to speak to the public. Oh, it is? Get a new job. In her defense, she apologized later that day, and claimed it was meant to be a silly and lighthearted comment. Which, I don't doubt it was meant to be. However, it was careless AND stupid. I mean, if you're going to make a mildly offensive ethnic joke on public television, at least get the punch line right.

TV And Sex Go Hand In Hand

My internet is finally fully functional again! I seem to have a problem with "the router staying connected to the internet" so sayeth the tech guy. Well, yeah, I get that. I'm not THAT big of a moron. But how do I KEEP it connected. Well, when this happened for the 4th time, I gave the old ISP techies a call as soon as I got home. He instructed me to type in a few commands, unplug a few things and recite the Greek alphabet backwards while logging on the the internet. I was just planning on a service request, so I hadn't yet turned my computer on for the day. When I did, while I was on the phone with the guy, for some reason, my internet magically connected and I momentarily felt like the world's biggest douche bag. This fellow, however, was quite nice to me and was very helpful. Unlike previous experiences with such people. I've been pretty fed up with this service provider, also the same one who provides the cable, because they have a complete monopoly over all the media connections in my apartment complex. I am unable to get, say Verizon or Adelphia for example. I MUST go with this small company. Which would be fine (especially because I doubt their tech guys would be willing to come out so often every time I can't find the "ON" button of my computer) except for the fact that they only provide basic cable, with no guide channel. This has chapped my ass for quite a while, because I pay a pretty good penny for basic, shitty cable. I know this sounds like a petty complaint, but I'm single, lazy and need digital recording, dammit. Since digital is out the questions for now, I decided to upgrade my package to include HBO and Showtime yesterday while on the phone. A complete impulse purchase, and one that I have never afforded myself before, and I'm not quite sure why. I simply can't wait to watch all the series and movies now that everyone talks about, and looks at me like an alien when I say I've never seen.

On an unrelated note. I heard a pre-teen singing Soulja Boy's song "Superman" the other day. I've liked this song for a while, and has been one of the inspirations to ease myself back into rap and hip-hop music. I am also a grown adult. I had heard the lyrics to "Superman" were a little inappropriate from a couple people, but never really listened to the words of the song until recently. (Who really listens to hip-hop lyrics that closely?) The lyrics seem harmless enough, although "super-soaking that ho" seems to be a popular refrain. Plus I'm always game for the occasional grotesque or racy lyric. I am also a grown adult. I didn't quite get the meaning behind "Supermaning the ho" until I did a little research. If you care to know what exactly he's talking about, check out the explanation on Urban Dictionary. It's pretty concise. It shocks me that I'm shocked by this in a song. I never used to bat an eye at these things. Am I reluctantly turning into the responsible adult I never said I would be? I think what I take the most issue with is the fact that I heard a 12 year old girl singing this song, clueless and peppy as could be. Maybe it's because I now work with this age group, maybe it's because I'm growing up, maybe it's because I actually do have morals somewhere inside me.

Manic Monday

Sandra Lee A'int Got Shit On Me

What I believe to be a result of heavy drinking all weekend and no sleep lowering my immunity, I've seem to come down with the flu in the past two days. Of course, working with little germ factories doesn't help either. So I've been popping the Vitamin C and Zicam in an effort to ward off the sickness. Because it's a super busy time of the semester I'm unable to take any time off this week, so needless to say I've been a miserable bitch at work, which is fun for everyone involved. I actually quoted the great sage Julia today when complaining to one of my colleagues "I can't stop bitching!". I am however feeling a bit better tonight and have regained some of my appetite.

Right before I got sick I made a very delicious pan of Stuffed Shells Florentine, which I had been unable to enjoy until this evening. And let me tell you, they were quite YUM-MO! I'm not quite sure what possessed me to make them, and I'm even more puzzled why I had all the ingredients chilling in my kitchen. I think my mother was a bit baffled also, because when I called her to ask her how to make them (which I do for almost everything I cook because I'm usually pretty clueless) she informed me that Sam's Club has excellent stuffed shells in the freezer section instead of giving the recipe.

In other recipe news, I decided to take Elisabeth's advice, and made an awesome meal last week. It was my spin on chicken Marsala with portabello and porccini mushrooms, aspargus and orecchiette pasta in a wine sauce with chicken. It was quite good, and pretty. And as any good chef will tell you, you eat with your eyes first! So I am trying to learn to cook my own gourmet meals, and not be at the mercy of other for a yum-mo meal.

The stray kitty has not been back. Or, that I have seen I guess I should say, since I did see kitty tracks in the snow on my porch yesterday, but no cat. This elates me, because, although I feel bad for the thing in this cold weather, I would not be able to handle it hanging and meowing at my place all the time.

Manic Monday

Stray Cat Strut

As per Jen-nay's insightful comment "You're soooo over this blogging thing, right?", I must say that I am not over the blogging thing as much as I'm getting over the internet. I simply haven't found myself turning on my computer for days at a time lately, which is a strange difference from what previously could only be explained as a mild internet addiction. I could never spend an entire day with my computer in the room without checking my e-mail, replying on myspace or googling funny pictures to post. However, now it seems that cyberstalking and blog posts have taken a backseat to other things in my life. I do not want to give the wrong impression that my life has somehow turned more intriguing or busy, just in an internet slump I guess you could say. I would assume, that this too shall pass, and I'll be back on my blogging high horse in no time.

Tonight, when I stepped out on my porch to have a cigarette, I nearly jumped out of my skin when I realized a large black cat was circling my feet. I am by no means a cat person, but I do not hate them. This cat however creeped the shit out of me, and I ran back inside. I'm not sure if it was just the fact that it startled me so much or that I really don't like it, but that cat makes me feel pretty uncomfortable. After I closed my door it sat outside and meowed for a good half an hour. Now, this firstly annoyed me to no end and it came pretty close to driving me into a fury of insanity. But I do also have compassion, sometimes, and the meowing began to tug at my heart strings, and I have been fighting the urge to set some food on my porch for the stray. I do know that once I do that, it will be the beginning of the end, and eventually I will become a cat owner, which I do not want to become. I thought the cat had gone away after about an hour or so, but when I went back out I found him (or her, I didn't care to check) chilling on my porch chair. I'll keep you updated on the kitty drama.

I put up my Christmas tree this afternoon, which goes against my better judgment for many different reasons. For one, I don't believe in the miracle of Jesus, I also hate the corporate mind-fucking of Christmas, plus it's only December 2. But I'm a sucker for tradition and I think Christmas trees are pretty, so a chili pepper tree it is. Plus I got fun bubble lights to put on this year, and I was excited to see them in action. Stay tuned for pictures and more stories.

*By the way, I distinctly remember my parents having this exact statue as part of our holiday decor when I was growing up. Creepy isn't it?

The Democrats Are Coming!

Star in Your Own JibJab! It's Free!Somehow it's much funnier and more true when you and your friends are starring. Thanks Colby!

Manic Monday

Where Yinz Been N'at?

I have been a little busy/have nothing interesting to post lately, thus a week with no post. But, I will give you a slight update.

My Thanksgiving this year was a bit different than usual. Since I have been on strike for so long, I originally thought I would have work on Friday, so decided to make the trek home to my parents Friday evening where we would hold the traditional turkey feast Saturday afternoon. Well, as it turned out, I didn't have to work Friday and came home earlier, but we still did everything on Saturday. Thanksgiving dinner was steaks on the grill with my parents and a few drinks afterwards with some friends. Friday I met up with some other friends from home and finally finished the book Siddhartha, of which I will post more about soon. Saturday was Thanksgiving for me, but half my family was out of town, so it was doubly strange. I decided to take it upon myself to drink up most of the wine sitting around my parents house to make the family bonding time more bearable. Which brings us to here, as I get ready for a brand new work week tomorrow. As per Jen-nay's post on Thanksgiving tradition and fun old TV re-runs, I did happen to grab Saturday Night Live this week which was a "Thanksgiving Leftover" special. (I assume this had something to do with the writer strike). I always like when SNL does this kind of episode with a montage of really great old clips. Some of my particular favorite Thanksgiving skits are Chris Rock's "Pump The Turkey" commercial and Cinder Calhoun's anti-turkey song on Weekend Update.


Hope everyone had a great holiday!

Manic Monday

More Grunge Comin' At Ya

What makes a 90's music video great you ask? Well, an old man crucified with a pope hat, fetuses hanging from trees and a child in a clan outfit help.


I rock this song on Guitar Hero by the way. Also, here's a Cobain fix for you, Elisabeth.

Yellow!

A big YELLOW to new reader Dee Dee! Thanks for reading!

Definitely Not Yum-mo.

Today's Hump Day leaves me with two sub-par dining experiences. After my strike duties this afternoon I went to a small tavern in the next town over. One of my work cohorts suggested the place because it was "close and has good food". Well, she was half right. I had been to the place only once before, but not to eat. The mood was set by the waitress (who had a deeper voice than I do) rolling her eyes when not everyone at the table was ready to order. When it finally came time, she blurted out "Excuse me!" and made a rolling motion as if she was too busy to wait with her hand to my friend who was having some trouble making up her mind. When all the orders were made, another friend decided to change her order, to which the waitress replied "You know, I've got other orders up and a lot of things to do". Ok, thanks. No new order. To further the ambiance, a half empty, already open liter jug of ice tea with a glass of ice was placed in front of someone who ordered the drink, and I got an economy size bottle of Hidden Valley ranch dressing which was obviously quite an old bottle that they simply kept refilling because I ordered my salad dressing "on the side". My "grilled" chicken salad was OK, except the chicken was boiled and chewy. Yum-mo numero ONE.

To treat myself further this evening because the strike is now complete, I decided to order from a gourmet pizza shop here in town. I had ordered from here before and everything was generally quite good. This place has interesting pizza choices such as the "Cypress Pizza" with feta and eggplant and the "Bacon Cheddar & Fries Pizza" (a sure artery clogger). I decided to go with the "Monte Cristo" which claims to include white sauce with sun-dried tomates, fire roasted red peppers, prosciutto, mozzarella and provolone. I also included an order of hot wings because they were on special. When the pizza came it was definitely not as gourmet as it was cracked up to be. The prosciutto was more like diced ham, no sauce and no tomatoes. The wings were freezer burnt and had no sauce. Normally I would call back and bitch, but tonight it just doesn't seem worth it. I'm taking it as a sign that I need to quit eating out and start eating better.

Long story short $35 spent today on food that was positively NOT yum-mo.

Manic Monday

More Music Please

The first time I heard this song was in the fantastic series finale of Six Feet Under, (which if you haven't seen it, spend the time to watch it.) and never knew the artist or name of the song. But, I knew I liked it. I forgot about it for about a year until just today I saw a trailer for the movie "Awake", which looks a little too creepy for me. It reminded me of just how much I like the song, and made me remember how moving it made the finale. With a little research I discovered the title is "Breathe Me" by Sia. Every once in a while it's nice to have some mellow chill music to jam to.

Ahh The Multiple Family Dwelling Life...

This morning on my way out to run some errands, (how I wish I could say on my way out for my morning jog or something of the like. Sounds much better doesn't it?) I noticed yet another magnetic character added to the mailbox diorama in my hallway. I find these figures a complete riot and wish I knew who put them there. There are no kids living in my building full time, but none of my neighbors seem to know the culprit, or at least are not willing to own up to the deed. I really enjoy that they are mail carries and one over sized armadillo looking creature. Maybe it's my mail carrier herself, which would also be funny, in fact, probably funnier. I think this afternoon before I leave I'm going to place the figures in a compromising pose and see what happens. I'll update with pictures.

In other apartment living news, a picture frame was knocked right off my living room table because my downstairs neighbors are BLASTING a Johhny Cash CD. I think it's time I have a little chat with my classic country friends.

Distrubing Phallic or Poor Gardening Technique?

You be the judge.

It's Ribbleicious

Some days, usually at a random time, I get the urge to do something domesticated. Today was one such day. On whim I decided to make a pot of chicken soup. Chicken "Ribble" soup to be specific. I'm not exactly sure what the real term for ribbles is, (I've called it that since I was young) but it is simply balls of dough in the soup instead of noodles. It was something my grandmother made frequently and became a sort of family tradition. However, several member of my family, my sister in particular, are repulsed by the ribbles for an unknown reason.

I've never really made soup before and definately never ribbles. I think it was quite a success and gave me warm reminiscent feeling on this chilly and dreary day.

My method was far from "mom and grandma traditional". My mother is somewhat of a purist in her cooking, (and a damn fine cook I might add) and gave me the recipe which included making broth and using cheese cloth to make an herb sachet. I opted out of the sachet. In fact, I'm quite sure my mother would have a small fit if she knew I used store bought chicken broth and chicken breasts instead of a whole roaster chicken. To me, whole chickens always looked like babies being cooked and it freaks me out. Not to mention picking the carcass of a chicken is, to me, one of the most vile things. I did however make the "ribbles" from scratch. Although, I took a more modern spin on the dough and added some spices and herbs to make them a bit more interesting.

One hour, 3 smoke alarm triggers and a messy kitchen later I had a great bowl of soup. I'm pretty proud of the way it turned out, but now have to figure out what to do with the two extra gallons of soup I have for one person. Soup anyone?

In Your Head

I've had a lack of interesting bits to share lately. Mostly due to my out of work situation, I've been in a bit of a funk and haven't done much productive. I do however want to share another one of my favorite songs and videos. (Which, I believe will become a regular theme-day on The Peace Train)

"Zombie" by The Cranberries is a hugely powerful and moving song with a great video. Enjoy!

Manic Monday

Radiohead

I submit for your viewing and listening pleasure: "Karma Police" by Radiohead. A completely awesome jam from their album "OK Computer" which also rocks.

We Need A Life

I've never really understood the sick fascination with the personal lives of celebrities. Although I have to admit, some days a click on the entertainment link or a quick flip through OK! magazine is too hard to pass up. Today was one such day. I happened to click a link from MSN.com which said that Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. My immediate reaction was "who gives a shit", but at the same time I had to read on. (Although this particular situation was a bit scandalous because of the 15 year age difference, plus the fact that I still picture the Olsen twins in pigtails saying "You got it dude". Not blowing coke and sleeping with someone almost twice their age.) Why do we as the public feel it our right to know the ins and outs of our favorite celebrity's personal life?

One thing I absolutely can not stand is the combining of two names when a new romance blossoms. A la "Bennifer" or "Tomcat". The newest one I discovered in the same article is "Gyllenspoon". Apparently "Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have rapidly gone from wily to smiley. On the heels of their touchy-feely, piggy back-ride-capped tour of Rome, the once clandestine couple was caught on video a few days back yukking it up on a Los Angeles beach." How disturbing.

The most disgusting segment (or at least title) of gossip smut I've seen in a while is Womb Watch which was linked to the above article. Womb Watch? Really? That seems to be the set up to a wonderful punchline in a joke I love to tell.

Even though it is tempting to catch up on the latest Brittney meltdown or to see from what country "Brangelina" will get their next baby, gossip columns have gone too far. Yes, that's what celebrities should know they are getting into when the enter the business, but have our minds become so rotted that we have to follow their every move?

No Halloween Would Be Complete Without:

Boo!

It's finally here! My favorite holiday, All Hallows Eve. Although, it does seem a little strange this year. I already celebrated Halloween on Saturday with Jen-nay and Julia's party, so my festiveness is done. But, I thought it would be fun to do some reminiscing about Halloween and what made it my favorite holiday of the year!

My parents were very into the holiday when I was growing up, and I think that transferred to me. Both my mom and dad were pretty awesome pumpkin carvers. We always carved about a dozen or so every year to display during Trick-Or-Treating. (Note: my last pumpkin of the season, Herman Munster at right) In particular I remember my mother always did a very intricate wizard and a two-pumpkin haunted house which had one smaller pumpkin inside the other. We always took them to my grandparents house during trick-or-treating because our house was in the middle of nowhere. I also remember instead of candles we put old school big colored Christmas lights in the pumpkins which made them a bit spookier.

In addition to the pumpkins, my family usually had some sort of display set up in my grandparents yard for the trick-or-treaters. Some of the better ones I remember are a vampire (my dad) jumping out of a coffin, and another year a mad scientist (my mom) eating the brains out of a head on a platter (me). I also remember a Halloween party my parents threw for my friends my sophomore or junior year of high school. They transformed our entire house into a sort of haunted house. The basement was the location of the party, and it was covered in gauze and lights and other spooky things. In the basement bathroom there hung a mutilated body in the shower and bloody hands floated in the punch bowl. Upstairs, the guests had to come through the kitchen where my mother dressed as a witch stirring a huge pot of guts on the stove, and pulled cookies out of the oven shaped and decorated like body parts. My father lay in a coffin in the living room (which was decorated to look like an abandoned and scary funeral home). My mother ushered the guests into the living room and made them just sit there with the "dead" body in silence until all the guests arrived. (Occasionally my father would open his eyes or jump up to scare the shit out of my friends.) I also remember someone standing outside chasing people with a chainsaw. My parents always kicked ass, but especially during Halloween.

Some of my past costumes have been (from most recent back):

• Pimpin' Pope Drewby the 69th
• Ben Franklin's gay lover
• Julius Caesar
  
• Judge Judy
• Out of work Parisian artist
• Zombie professor
• Chucky (from the movie)
  
• Disco dancer
• Carrie (again, obviously from the movie)
• Hippie
• Juan Valdez (Colombian coffee guy)
  
• Old Lady
• Cat in the Hat
• Clown

When I was younger, our town was a great spot for trick-or-treating, and we had the evening schedule down to a science. You always knew what houses to hit and which to skip so the two hours would be most efficient. I always skipped the old lady who made every child come in her house, take off your mask and tell who your parents were before she gave any candy, and the house that made you sign a prayer list and the treat was a prayer book. (Usually the house to get toilet papered and egged at the end of the night, thank God.) I never missed the houses that handed out the full candy bars or cans of pop, or the house with the homemade peanut butter and chocolate. (We lived in a small town where homemade wasn't really an issue). After the candy run, I made my way back to my grandparents house where the was always hot apple cider and glazed donuts (usually homemade).

And there it is, a not so condensed version of Drewby's Halloweens past. What are some of your favorite Halloween memories?

HAPPY HAUNTING!

Manic Monday

The Best Cover Ever:

Or at lest one of the best.

Pun-kin Carving Part Deux

I was going to wait and let this one be a surprise, but it turned out to be such a masterpiece I couldn't keep it to myself until then.

I really had no idea I was such a punk-in artiste!

This Is What I Do When I Don't Have To Work On A Thursday Afternoon:

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

As Halloween quickly approaches, I'm reminded just how much I love this holiday. One of my favorite parts of the season is the sit-com Halloween specials. Although it's becoming more rare, some of the best Halloween episodes are currently playing on Nic At Nite. (Does anyone else remember when Nic At Nite was "Mr. Ed" and "I Dream of Genie"?) Growing up I used to look so forward to the Halloween episodes of some of my favorite shows, because they always had the coolest costumes, completely transformed their homes and had the best Halloween parties. I think the best sit-coms for Halloween shows were "Roseanne" and "Home Improvement". "The Simpsons" and "South Park" also have to be the best animated Halloween specials out there. Well, the best animated anything, really.

My personal favorite is the "Roseanne" episode below where Darlene is missing half an arm.


I also really enjoy this Halloween special from "Roseanne" season 4.


It's really a shame that this Halloween mania is becoming somewhat scarce. Although shows like "The Office" did a Halloween special, nothing quite compares to the intesity of the early 90's. (Nothing really compares to the sit-coms of the early 90's in general.)

What are some of your favorite Halloween TV moments?

Ummm, Dreby, It's Only Monday.

So yesterday I invited some work friends over for a beer or two and some snacks. About halfway through the Oktoberfest case, I pull out a bottle of ApfelKorn apple schnapps, which I had bought to make spiked apple cider. (The helpful man at liquor store informed me when I bought it that if I bought plum brandy "the girl's panties would fall off faster". Ok, thanks.) When the ApfelKorn came out, my friend who teaches German, just started laughing. Not understanding the laughs as disapproval but encouragement, I proceeded to pass out several rounds of the schnapps then moved to Southern Comfort. By that time everyone was feeling pretty uninhibited and began salsa dancing in my kitchen. But, I guess I had the last laugh, since I found my head in the toilet at 7:30pm. Nice.

Manic Monday

White And Nerdy

I just finished reading Stephen King's book "Cell" which I enthusiastically give two thumbs down. I lost interest somewhere in the middle of the novel, but felt obligated to finish. (I started the book sometime in early August, if that's any indication) . The premise is a little creepy, yet completely unrealistic. Someone, somewhere created some sort of sonic wave that transmitted through cell phone currents so that whenever anyone answered or spoke on a cell phone, they turned into a nocturnal zombie like creature with no regard for anyone else and is lulled to sleep with soft elevator-esque music. The three main characters travel from Boston to northern Maine to flee for safety. Oh, did I mention the zombies can read minds too? The ending was sappy but didn't tie up any loose ends and never really explained the origin of the "boom". Maybe it's because I'm just not into science-fiction type reading or movies, but this book was a snooze. I used to be an avid reader of Stephen King, and especially loved "Dolores Claiborne" and "Misery". (Both movie remakes, by the way, are flawless). "Cell" seems to be a throwback to King's earlier book "Desperation" or even "The Regulators" (written under Richard Bachman). Both of which have a similar world-ending science-fiction feel.

But, with the completion of this book, my summer reading pile is officially completed (with the exception of a book about atheism, which reads more like a textbook than a novel, so that was just skimmed for ammunition).

My newest book is somewhat of a classic by Nobel Prize winner Herman Hesse "Siddhartha", which is a story about a young boy in India who meets the Buddah and eventually becomes enlightened himself. It's a short book, and was recommended to me by a colleague. I also saw it on a list of "life changing books" somewhere, but I think that might be a little too much pressure for me in 120 pages.

After "Siddhartha" I plan to start "On The Road" by Jack Kerouac. I never knew much about Kerouac until earlier last month when it seemed almost every magazine or newspaper I picked up had an article about the 50th anniversary of this book. Kerouac became big with the "Beat" movement in the 50s, along with Allen Ginsberg. ("Howl" by the way is probably one of my most favorite things ever written). I always thought the Beat generation was very interesting, and actually, when I was in Ecuador got to meet an author who was big there at that time. A very cool experience. (Insert finger snapping here).

General Musings

Since I have been gone for a while, and don't have anything particularly interesting to post, here are a few things that are on my mind/happened to me lately.

• First, and sadly probably most exciting, a middle aged man called me a "greedy bastard" from his pickup truck yesterday. No matter how true that may be, he was a complete stranger and has no right making such assumptions without ever seeing just how greedy or bastardly I can be.
• I'm very excited to see the new movie Elizabeth:The Golden Age. I can't remember the last time I went to the theater to see a movie, and it always seems like a fun novel thing to me. I need to get out more.
• I broke a very solemn vow I made to myself this weekend and watched Evan Almighty with my mother this weekend. Every time I see my her she brings up the movie, as a sort of insinuation that she wants me to watch it with her. So I broke down and watched it with her. Not bad, but I lost interest and fell asleep well before half way in.
• Along with the movie, I discovered a new decadent delight, Ben and Jerry's Crème Brûlé ice cream. A completely intense experience.
• After some heavy coercing and a guilt trip by my grandfather, I accompanied my parents to church on Sunday. The first time since Christmas at least, and quite possibly the last. Just when I thought I had survived the worst of the service, the pastor pulls out the "anointing oils" and "praying chair" and turned the quiet little church into something off of the Cornerstone Broadcasting Network. Suffice it to say, I do not plan on going back for quite sometime, and my mother is well aware of that fact.
• Work is still currently nonexistent for me, and it appears it will stay that way for quite a while.
• My new favorite seasonal beer is Penn Brewery's Oktoberfest, thanks to a fellow alchy out of work colleague.
• I'm currently watching the Law & Order SVU where Mark Paul Gosselaar is "gay for pay".
  

I think that's enough droning for now. More updates soon.

I'm Coming I'm Coming.

Please be advised my life has been ultra hectic lately and my internet has been a bitch to boot, so stay tuned for some blogging soon. Mostly when I sober up...

Manic Monday (Un Jour Enretard)

Sorry, my internet has been out. Please be manic with this thought:

Gafas Nuevas

I picked up my new glasses today. Let me know what yinz think.

Mr. Brightside

As someone who works with people all day everyday, I can appreciate the occasional grumpy mood or sneering look. But when you deal with complete strangers, I feel it only polite to have the facade of a happy person. When an internet repairman showed up at my door this afternoon, instead of a traditional greeting, said "You havin' problems with the internet?". Why yes, you havin' problems with the router cable up your ass? For the rest of the visit in my home, I responded to monosyllabic orders and questions. Why do people, especially when your job requires you to enter stranger's homes, feel the need to express the anger or malaise so visibly?
I read a very interesting article a while back in a Smithsonian magazine titled "What's behind a smile?" which broke the codes of the simple smile and might have changed my mind a bit on the matter. It states that according to research, people who were not happy or uncomfortable were put in a slightly better (although mostly false) mood when they smiled or were around someone who smiled at them. The physical act of smiling isn't exactly what makes people feel better, but it's contagious. I totally agree. I can be the most miserable and pessimistic person when I want to be, but find it almost irresistible to not smile at someone passing me if they flash their teeth first.
Although, sometimes it can feel too cumbersome to act so happy, which is maybe why Mr. Repairman just wasn't havin' it, even though I was trying to kill him with kindness. This article also talks about companies that make their employees constantly smile and be polite. It mentions McDonald's and WalMart amongst others. (However, I have been treated rudely at both establishments on more than one occasion). People can become miserable by pretending to be wonderful. Barbara Held, author of the book Stop Smiling, Start Kvetching says "There's nothing wrong with smiling, I do it. It's the insistence of others that everyone smile, and have a nice day, and look on the bright side, no matter what, that's tyrannical, because it denies the psychological fact that people cope in different ways." What a real statement. Not everyone is having the time of their lives serving you 600 calorie sandwiches and listening to Jibbs. Held talks in the article about a middle aged woman who works in a store she frequents who always asks "how are you". "I give her my standard answer, 'I hate everything'. Because I want people to know that there are other answers besides 'I'm fine.'" says Held. I love this woman. She says that her answer to this woman "I hate everything" actually cheers her up. "I go home and think about it and laugh to myself".
Maybe being a jerk does have it's up side.