Manic Monday

I Forgot How Much I Love:

This Song
This Video
Soundgarden
Chris Cornell

Culinary Delights For All The Senses

It both amuses me and disturbs me that last weekend while watching "Everyday Italian" with my mother, we both screamed at the TV in perfect tandem: "OK, we get it, you're a Dago!" when she started talking about her bisCOOHti and amaREHTTi cookies for the third straight time. Also, if I hear my girl Ina Garten say one more time that she really likes food to look like what's in it while throwing quartered limes on a platter I'm writing both Food Network and the East Hampton City Council nasty letters.

In my own culinary adventures, I've been all over the globe this week. Started out with an awesome 3 cheese 3 pepper enchilada at Mad Mex. Tuesday was $5 carry-out day at a local pizza place, so I couldn't pass that up. Wednesday I met a friend at a Japanese steak house where I had spicy tuna and cream cheese sushi (which sounds repulsive but really kicked ass). The highlight of my Japanese experience (besides the Saki) was the fact that in the middle of dinner, bright disco lights came one and a Japanese-pop version of "Happy Birthday" started blaring while our waitress brought out a half-empty bottle of Grey Goose with a sparkler in it for a 9 year-old boy. Tonight was Quiznos, the real American treat. And tomorrow I'm going out with Jen-nay for my first Ethiopian dinner. (I've decided I'm not eating out at all next week) When I told a colleague today that I was going to an Ethiopian dinner, she asked how it was possible to have an entire restaurant based on a country that doesn't eat. I do love subtle racism in the work place.

In other work-related news, I overheard another colleague saying that Lifetime movies should be shown in school to teach students real life lessons.

This weekend should prove to be interesting and very indie, so I'm sure I'll be blogging that.

Natalie Merchant And Other Riders

So, I've temporarily/maybe permanently abandoned Travel Tuesdays. It's become arduous and boring for me.



I rocked out on my way to work this morning to the 10,000 Maniacs version of "Peace Train" which I did not know existed. I've always had a bit of a soft spot for the band. Partly because they hail from the neighboring town of my hometown. I also discovered Dolly Parton also covered my favorite jam, which I have never heard. Call me a Purist, but nothing compares to Cat's original.

Also, a big YELLOW to my new reader Katie, and an equally large YELLOW to old reader Rasputin.

Manic Monday

Manic Mondays

As inspiration from Travel Tuesdays and Jen-nay's Guamalee Thursdays, Mondays will now be "Manic Monday" (I know, all the alliteration is a little campy) I will post a picture that is representative of something in my life, something I am thinking or feeling or something that amuses me at the time. I won't post a story or any explanation. I'll let you, my faithful reader(s?) determine what it is I'm musing about. Stay tuned for tomorrows fist installment!

Best For Bear Bottoms

As I sit here, pissed that I let myself get sucked into a predictable abc family movie starring Julia Stiles and her mediocre acting abilities, I am reminded that it's time for me to bitch some more about commercials that disgust me. The culprit this time, like my earlier rant about Air Wick, deals with personal and home hygiene: Charmin. All of the Charmin commercials with the animated shitting bears have always chapped my hide a bit. (I do enjoy their slogan though, "Best for Bear Bottoms" Hmm...sounds like a Craigslist I once responded to...) I believe it is because of the sheer tactlessness guised as cute humor. In the newest installment, we see Mother Bear chasing her cub with a broom and vacuum sweeping all of the toilet paper residue off his butt. The new product ensures less toilet paper on your ass. What a claim! I personally can't think of many other less pleasant things to hear about during prime time. BUT, because it's a cute bear, we can secretly relate and thank Jesus we don't have to worry about paper ass again. Another cute new one is of two bears running on the beach with worried faces. One red, the other blue. Then, two outhouses come into view. Again, one red, one blue. The doors open to find two Charmin products inside. The red is extra strong toilet paper, while the other is gentle and soft. The two then run into their respective port-a-potties, alluding to just what kind of shit they are about to take. Oh, and Handel's "Alleluia Chorus" is playing the whole time in the background. (Please note title of this version)
Some people choose to focus on gay-bashing Snickers commercials, or racy Super Bowl ads, but I seem to direct my hatred towards animated bathroom humor.

Why do people think this is cute?

Bechamel Is Up With That?

Today, my French phrase a day calendar told me "Everything is better with bechamel sauce". I plan on spending the weekend disproving that theory.

No Spin Zone...

I've been wanting to blog this for several days, since I first heard about it, but I haven' had the chance. And now it's big new. So, in case you haven't heard, Bill O'Reilly is a racist back-tracking bastard. Recently Bill recounted a trip he made with Al Sharpton to Harlem restaurant Sylvia's. Commenting on his dining experience in the predominately black restaurant; "I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City,... There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who [was] screaming,'M-Fer was, I want more iced tea," . He goes on to say "[It] was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all." Really? You mean, black people eat at restaurants the same way rich white Republican men do? I had no idea!
O'Reilly has taken a lot of heat for this lately, and some have compared his comments to that of fellow right-wing cohort Don Imus. Bill's dining partner that afternoon even said his comments were "disturbing and surprising".

In his own defense, O'Reilly has said that if one listened to the entire conversation, he was making a social commentary on the outrageousness of racism. People have made the comment that his point was taken out of context, and perhaps he was a bit inarticulate. Bill O'Reilly is a lot of things, but inarticulate is not one of them. He's well spoken (although most things spoken are bullshit), and knows how to talk on television. I think he knew exactly what he was saying, and how he was saying it, because really, who is his fan base? His comment can be skewed to sound sarcastically anti-racist, but at the end of the day, he just comes off sounding like a bigot.

Travel Tuesday

Pass the poi ma hallo, today's Travel Tuesday doesn't even require a passport! HAWAII


I tend to shrug off the old adage "There's too much I want to see in my country before I travel abroad", but I make several exceptions. One of which is Hawaii. I have never heard one bad thing about the place, and I'm frankly disgusted I haven't been there yet. It seems a bit over done and touristy, but really, what isn't these days. I would go for the roast suckling pig alone. I do hope to make it to the American paradise soon. This one may actually be attainable in the near future! And the waves sure beat hangin'-10 on the Ohi-a!

Move Over Martha...

I feel as though I've had quite a productive day today, and that's not a feeling I get too often. So, I'm blogging that. This evening, I rearranged my spare room. As you know, I get on a kick, and I won't let it die. I'm pretty pleased with the new arrangement, but I'm sure it will change. I also returned a pair of pants that don't fit, and bought 2 new CDs, which excites me since I haven't bought a new CD since BMG music club. I got "Sliver" by Nirvana which is a collection of demos of all their famous songs, and "OK Computer" by Radiohead which contains their best song in my opinion "Karma Police". Then I made some kick-ass jambalaya with andoullie and chicken, read through some old magazines and then made cookies! I'm such a domestic goddess tonight. And on top of that, today I taught a cool class about Salvador Dali and why you would have to be on drugs to create and do some of the things he did. All in all I feel pretty good about my day, which is good because I have an entire day of meetings to look forward to tomorrow.

Ummm, Hillary?

It's sad but true, I'm becoming less and less enchanted with Hillary Clinton as time goes on. Don't get me wrong, I would vote for her in an East Hampton minute if it means a vote against a republican. But if nothing else, her cackling on FOX news yesterday morning would have been enough to seal the deal for most. She seemed a little high, which could prove to be interesting I suppose. Hillary did a bunch of talk shows yesterday where she pumped her agenda for healthcare (of which I agree) and apparently tried to show her perfect melange of knowledge and humor, but in my humble opinion just made her look squaky. In fact, the prestigious backdrop of books in her interviews was actually a set created in a room in the back of her house for interviews. I'm sure a lot of people do this, but it's just terribly annoying. Watch this clip of her interview with Chris Wallace from FOX (who is a total douche bag by the way, but aren't they all at Fox News?) This unreasonable laugh was brought about by this question from Wallace, "Why do you and the president [Bill Clinton] have such a hyper-partisan view of politics?" Now, to me, that does seem like calling the kettle black coming from him, but really Hillary, Really?



I'm also a little pissy with her definite stance against marriage equality. And am wondering also about her new drop of her maiden name Rodham. Maybe sounded a little too matronly.

I also enjoy this clip of Fred Thompson campaigning at the NRA convention (insert any form of douche-bag here) All thats missing from the applause is a couple open-air straight up shots.

To Wii or Not To Wii, And Other Weekend Quandaries

This weekend, my good friend Shelby came down to visit. Upon her arrival we decided I should buy a Nintendo Wii. I couldn't warrant shelling out the $250 for something I know I would never use (even though we went to three different stores and looked at them, and I have ranted about how much I would love to have one). So we went to Mad Mex, had three "Big Azz" margaritas and stumbled home to put a pretty decent dent into our bottle of Southern Comfort.

This morning, Shelb and I carried out my traditional Sunday ritual by getting something to eat and shopping. It was an uneventful shopping trip, and came home empty handed. So, after she left, I decided I just hadn't spent enough money this weekend, and headed out to buy a futon couch for my spare room (which, by the way, I have made pretty good progress in cleaning out). A few hours, one bloody finger and many "FUUUCK"s later, voila, the new and improved spare room/office/sitting room/parlor:

I think it might be a little big for the room's current arrangement of desk, file cabinet and bookshelf. But I'm pretty confident that with a little rearranging it will work. I did promise an update of the room, so let's take a look at a before pic, shall we?
New dilema in my apartment, my sliding glass door in the living room doesn't lock anymore. I think this may be a little too much for Handy Andy, so I guess the real handy man will have to come take a look at that. And hopefully do something about the nice hole in my screen door a guest put there last weekend. Ok, thanks!

I don't have anything particularly exciting or interesting to say today, but I plan on celebrating USA Week with Jen-nay and all my other single and happy friends!

I am sitting here watching the series premier of Kid Nation. Something which Jen-nay had blogged earlier which blew my mind. And 40 minutes into the first show, I have run a full gambit of emotions. It's pretty annoying and painful, and in fact I turned it after the first 20 minutes, because I couldn't take it anymore, but I turned it back. Partly because there is nothing else on, and partly because it's much like an accident from which you just can't look away. The kids are bratty, clueless, annoying, too big for their britches and funny. All at the same time; and the kids seem a bit too prompted or scripted. I think another turn off of this show for me is the fact that it reminds me too much of my work. I can't quite decide how I feel about this show, but I have an idea that it will not become part of my weekly Hump Day routine.

Travel Tuesday

Today's Travel Tuesday is a bit of a cliché, but I think it's a required destination on any travel wish list: PARIS
I have always wanted to go to gay Paris, and the fact that I'm a French-speaker and have never been there is a little upsetting. I would love to spend some serious time doing all of the necessary tourist sites, and sitting in a cafe all afternoon. Some requisites would definitely be The Louvre, shopping on the Champs-Élysées, and of course La Tour Eiffel. Some day mon cherie, some day.

C'est magnifique!

: - ) Is Older, (And Wiser) Than Me

Happy Birthday : -) smiley! It's your time to shine! According to an MSNBC.com article, tomorrow is the 25th anniversary of the keystrokes heard around the world: the ever dreaded colon, hyphen, parenthesis e-smiley. The precursor to every slanty mouthed, money eyed, almost throwing up face we all love to add to our instant messages and e-mails to be extra cute and annoying. I was completely unaware that this world-famous smiley emoticon is a local phenomenon, created by one Scott E. Fahlman, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. According to him, he was the first ever to post this symbol on September 19, 1982 at 11:44 am on an online discussion board about the lack of emotion in online communication. "I propose the following character sequence for joke markers: :-)," wrote Fahlman. "Read it sideways."

THNX Fahlman for making cyberspace so much cuter. ;-(

Leave Britney Alone!

In case you've missed it, here it is. A man named Chris Crocker has come to the rescue of poor Britney, and challenged the world to just "leave Britney alone!".

I love this edited clip of his rant for four reasons:

1. The fact that it says "This crazy girl is really crying for Britney Spears".
2. The music in the background.
3. The crazy face editing.
4. The twat shot.

I guess I should prequel this with the actual clip of Britney being a hot mess that sparked the outrage of one Chris Crocker. It's Britney Bitch.

Local Man Succumbs to Addiction.

In my boredom the other day, I happened upon a fun website called "Learning To Love You More" which is an interactive website which gives you assignments to perform. Some examples are "Make an encouraging banner" or "Draw an constellation from someone's freckles". Readers submit a picture, video or text of their completed assignment. They are then posted online. I think this is an awesome idea, and decided to complete one of the assignments. I probably will not submit it, but I think there would be some fun things to do. The one I chose to do is number 60, "Write a press release about an everyday event". I have to admit, this is a direct idea steal from a friend's blog who wrote about this website, which made me check it out. She also wrote a press lease and submitted and blogged it. Thus, I have no original ideas. However, I did write about a different topic. Mine reads more like a news segment script from the 6 o'clock news, which I think makes it funnier, but I picture video clips and reporters with it. Below is my press release.

Local Man Succumbs to Addiction.

“Sometimes you forget, and that’s when the craving gets intense…” is what one local man has to say about an incredible journey he won’t soon forget. “…that’s when you just have to do it.”

Early Sunday afternoon was business as usual in a bustling northern suburb. One man, (who will be referred to as Joe Camel to protect his identity) had just come home from his weekly grocery shopping. “I had just pulled in my driveway and began to unload my groceries. I had no idea this would have happened to me.” Once he was unpacked and was ready to begin a lazy afternoon, terror struck. “I sat down on my couch, and it hit me, I couldn’t believe it.” But believe it he soon did when he realized one very grave item he forgot to pick-up; his cigarettes. “I checked my pack on the counter, and was horrified. I completely forgot to buy more cigarettes. This just doesn’t happen to me.”

A faithful consumer of Camel Special Lights, Camel never likes to find himself without his guilty vice. He immediately sprung into action, and had to make a quick, very important decision. To go or not to go? But Camel already knew the answer. “I didn’t have time to react. I knew it was now, or an hour from now when I really wouldn’t want to go back out. So I did what anyone in my situation would do. Drove back to Sheetz.”.

“Sometimes you forget, and that’s when the craving gets intense, that’s when you just have to do it.” And do it he did, in a big way. “I decided to go for it and just buy the carton. That way, I’ll have back up if this ever is to happen again…God forbid.”

“It’s nice to hear the joke in his voice. It’s almost as if nothing happened. ” says a neighbor. “He made a quick recovery, I’m real proud of him”.

It’s hard to believe that this could happen to someone, but if you ever find yourself in this situation, Camel has one piece of advice for you: buy the carton.

A Case of the Hump Day...

Today is a very blah day for me. Not a bad day, just blah. I feel very unmotivated and even less creative. I'm validating my laziness because my horoscope today said "This is a good day for you to stay in and rest, dear Cancer." I am a "dear Cancer", wouldn't you say? The perfect melange of crab and 69.


In my boredom this evening, I did find out an interesting tidbit about myself from quizme.com. My DJ name would be DJ Wicked Wang. (See above Cancer statement) This, of course, is of no surprise to me.

andrew spins tunes as DJ Wicked Wang Get your dj name @ Quiz Meme

It also seems that my neighbor is constructing a great arc to save humanity, since I have heard nothing but hammering since approximately 4:30. (Current time 7:45 EST) It appears the building must be done very slowly, one nail at a time with exactly four deliberate strikes from the hammer. I might just have to go against my horoscope's better judgment today and get out. In the mere interest of my sanity.

Travel Tuesday

Travel Tuesday presents: CAMBODIA

Go to this link and watch a quick clip from The Travel Channel's awesome series "1,000 Places To See Before You Die". I want to travel through Asia, and the culture and history of Cambodia is quite interesting. Although it's not exactly the safest nor most practical travel destination, this is a travel wish list, isn't it?