Not So Yum-O

I found this article last month, and have been meaning to blog about it's ridiculousness for a while. The gist of the story is that some conservative right-wingers had beef with Rachael Ray's new Dunkin' Donuts commercial. Not because Republicans don't allow themselves simple joys like donuts or even that Rachael's voice distracts them from their work of sucking souls, but because of what she is wearing. Apparently Republican's have become the fashion police, the global fashion police. Surprise surprise, something else for them to have their panties in a bunch about. According to the MSNBC article, right wing people with some pull claimed that Rachael is wearing what appeared to be a kaffiyeh, which is an Arab head wrap. This of course confuses the general American audience, and tricks them into believing that supporting religious radicals and terrorists is a good thing, and now can't make the difference between a greasy donut-pushing television host and a Muslim extremist.

To me, (and probably anyone else with a rational bone in their body) the scarf looks like a hip fashion trend. I actually like the look, and wouldn't mind having one like it. In fact, Kanye West is even wearing one in his new video with Chris Martin. Oh wait, he already is the enemy of the Bush regime. What's worse, instead of Dunkin' Donuts' advertising team standing up to these goons and defending this ridiculous claim, they pulled the ad! Whatever Dunkin' Donuts, whatever.

What prompted me to finally get around to writing about this article was a conversation I had with a woman who I met at a wedding this weekend. This woman works for an advertising agency which handles some of Rachael Ray's products, which means this woman has met and worked with Rachael herself. I was a little bit surprised to hear her tell me that in real life, behind the camera and the overly kitschy Catskill Mountains charm, Rachael is "a total bitch". According to my conversation, she's a chain-smoker who won't leave Manhattan. I personally enjoy this little bit of information about Rachael. She seems a little too cute and campy on her shows (and her talk show is a disaster), so the smoking and bad attitude give her a bit of cred in my opinion. Terrorist sympathizer or not, any chain-smoking, trash-talking, beer-swilling mountain girl is my type of TV Chef.

Update

What have I been up to as of late you ask? Well, not a whole lot, but here's a week-in review submitted for your reading pleasure.

• The Dave Matthew's concert was a smashing success, I think. I'm ashamed to say that I paid absolutely no attention to the performance, but had a great time anyway. The traditional tailgating ritual turned into a frat party about a half an hour into it when it was decided that "shotgunning" beers was in order. That was the downfall of the entire night as I see it. But it was complete with gourmet burgers, peeing in the woods and a visit from some random pot-smoking stranger-friends sporting "Dee's Nuts" tee-shirts. Fast-forward about 4 hours to the concert which included $8 beers, a lost pair of shoes and a French-speaking friend and I running through the crowd jumping over people and yelling "It's O.K.! We Speak French."
• I'm preparing myself for a golf outing for work this coming weekend. My foursome includes myself and 3 middle aged women. All of whom play little to no golf. I've been out golfing maybe three times before, none of which would I ever consider elevated my playing ability. Stay tuned for the embarrassing update and pictures.
• I've been on the hunt for a new place to live with no luck in sight. My current living situation is alright, however I'm growing very tired of living under and over someone. Buying is not an option a) because I have no desire for the financial and physical responsibilities b) I am in absolutely no position to cough up any amount of house-buying cash. My search by word of mouth and online has made me feel frustrated and inadequate on a number of levels and am starting to resign myself to signing over another lease for my apartment, at least for one more year.
• I was told today by a 14 year old that I certainly wasn't the type of person to party or have fun and probably find myself sipping tea instead of "really partying". Actually, I think the term "with your pinky up" was included also. I simply agreed in modest humility and neglected to tell the youngster that I had a hard time remembering my name the previous weekend.
• Yesterday evening, in search for something "Mmm Mmm Mmm Toasty" and over priced, I dropped by Quizno's for dinner. When I asked the kid making my sandwich for the "Turkey Bacon Guacamole" sandwich, his only reply was "Gross", and made my meal in silence. Ok, thanks Quizno's kid, my guamalee was, in fact, quite delicious.
• Along with my housing search, I've also been looking (although with an obvious lack of enthusiasm) for graduate programs to obtain a Master's degree. My specifications are a bit specific, as I want/need an intensive summer program, however, the idea of it all stresses me out to the extent that every time I begin to do some research I have to take a permanent break.
• Over the weekend I watched the entire first season of "Big Love" which I really do love. I'm not sure if it's the creepy/well-written story line or the fact that you're guaranteed a graphic sex-scene in every episode, but I'm definitely a fan of the series.
  

Wanna Know How I Know You're Gay?

You like Coldplay. (and/or Chris Martin)

I know, I know ANOTHER music video post Drewby? But I just caught this new video on BET (yes, BET. And I also learned that you can catch "Different Strokes" there every day at 3) this afternoon and I'm loving the juxtaposition of Kanye West's pseudo-hard rap with Chris Martin's awesome voice and piano playing. Check it out, and let me know: is it just me or does Kanye's crotch seem to take an eerily leading role?

Just when you thought all reality TV was scripted and you couldn't relate to the cast, MTV cranks out yet another teenage show stopper that has The Hills spitting out their chai lattes in disgust. The Paper, which I had the distinct pleasure of stumbling upon this evening, follows the life of a group of high school students, Cypress Bay high school students to be exact, through the twists, turns and perils of writing for a school newspaper. I ended up watching the entire episode, which I guess speaks volumes of my social life, and was disgusted yet sickly fascinated at the same time. Granted, I'm surely not the target audience for such a stomach turning program, but I mean really, MTV. Haven't we learned our lesson with "A Shot At Love With Tila Tequila"? The program includes, of course, the nerd, the jock, the indie girl, the awkward kid and the token gay guy. Don't everyday teenagers have enough drama already? The juicy plot line of the episode I was fortunate to catch was, and I quote, "Mrs. Weiss shakes up the seating arrangements in hopes it will bring harmony to the paper." I leave you with that.

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

You Know You're Evolving Into A Yinzer When...

You stand in your kitchen contemplating a new way to prepare your frozen pirogies. My solution: grilling on the Foreman. Do I recommend it Yinz ask? Not particularly, I still prefer boiled and slathered with butter and onions, but the Foreman will do in a pinch.

The more I live in the this area, the more I'm understanding and adapting to the Pittsburgh way, but I'm not sure I'm even close to becoming a real "Pittsburgher". I actually think this title is completely unattainable to me for several reasons: I don't particularly like or watch the Steelers, ahem "Stillers", I think ketchup is disgusting (I don't care if it IS Heinz), and I'm not all that fond of Primanti sandwiches ahem "sammitches". I do however marvel at the Pittsburgh accent and usually watch the local news to hear it in the interviews, and have noticed myself using the terms "jag-off" and "nebby" a little more than I'd really like.

My whole point of this post, actually, was to draw attention to a local commercial that seems to be running a lot lately for Isley's chipped-chopped ham. First of all, I'm not completely sold on anything with the phrase chipped-chopped, but the commercial gets me every time. At the end, a Pittsburgh local describes his love affair with the ham as "fluffy and wonderful". I'm IN! Get me to a deli ASAP. Unfortunately I'm having difficulty finding the commercial to post.

Understand The Risks, See The Benefits

I am a true creature of habit, especially in the morning. One thing different, and it has the potential to throw my entire day off. My early morning routine consists of shower, getting dressed, watching the morning news while drinking coffee. Because of my strict morning agenda, I've also noticed a few other morning routines that have totally pissed me off. And, as usual, they are minute and insignificant.

The first morning peeve is the Nelly song about the Applebottom jeans and the boots with the fur, (the name escapes me) which is played almost ritualistically at 6am every morning on the only radio station I can tune into on my shower radio. Having music in the shower seems to help me wake up, and I generally like the station, however I can almost sense the song coming before it even starts, and I have to shut off the radio before it gets to the inane chorus.

Number two is this annoying and ridiculously long Celebrex commercial. The first time I saw it several months ago, I thought it was a joke. Not only is the commercial almost 3 minutes long, it's incredibly dull and grating. I'm not sure if the lady calmly rambling about pain medication myths or the scrolling text that forms into outdoor scenes annoys me more. But what is for certain, the non-stop repetition of the same mellow guitar riff is enough to send me over the edge. I see the commercial every morning during the local news break, and I have to immediately change the channel. I usually try to pop back to the news when I think enough time has passed, but I'm generally off and end up catching the last 20 seconds of this bullshit commercial. Check it out if you're interested, but only if you've got some time to kill.

On Precocious Salad And Other Rants

There are very few television shows I can honestly say that I'm "into", and usually the ones that I am into I forget are on and miss anyway. (I guess I'm just not that into Amazing Race). But one show I have found myself enthralled with is Medium on NBC. If you haven't seen or heard, the basic premise is Allison DuBois (played by Patrica Arquette) is a Medium who has visions in her dreams that help solve crimes. Doesn't really seem like a story line I'd be that into, but I am. If you can get past the surreal story line, it's a pretty good show. One of my main beefs with the series is the oldest daughter Bridgette, (Played by Maria Lark) who is about as annoying as they come. She's one of those typical child actors who acts about 10 years older than they really are, and uses words and phrases and has the sensibility of that of a middle aged woman. I have yet to figure out if that's the actress herself, the way they want the girl to be portrayed or a mixture of the two. Either way, she's got to go. I actually just voted on a poll last night on whether or not the character should be killed off or removed. Apparently I'm not the only one with the opinion. Not only is the age inappropriate acting grating, but she comes off as arrogant or pretentious. Seems like she got an extra helping of Precocious Salad.

Check out last night's episode below, which is a two parter, to be continued next Monday. (Warning: Annoying commercial before show recap begins)

Durty Nellies et al

Eat your heart out Jen-nay, I made my own Guamalee yesterday. (Please note the intentional placement of durty nellies just for you). As I was browsing the produce section of the grocery store yesterday (which is my favorite part of grocery shopping) I decided to make guacamole on a complete whim. And I must say, it turned out flawless.

In other food news, my flour tortilla package recommends that if you have children who are partiularly picky eaters, you should try this delicious recipie: "Hot Corned Beef Roll-Ups with lettuce and spicy dressing". What planet did the marketing staff and kitchen gurus at Azteca flour tortilla company come from? That, to me, sounds like the most ridiculous item to make for a picky eater. No thanks Azteca.

I'm also waiting with baited breath for the season premier of Top Chef on Bravo. As the countdown on the right hand corner of my screen winds down, Bravo is re-airing the season finale of Project Runway, which is a show I mistakenly got sucked into. Mainly because they show re-runs of it constantly and I always stop when there is nothing else on. I guess you could call it one of my guilty pleasures. I secretly love it when Heidi Klum says "Auf Wiedersehen". I did, however, find the winner Christian incredibly annoying. Just a little too flamboyant and over the top for me (can you believe it?).

For Some Reason This Commercial Really Creeps Me Out

Stuff

• This week began my second week in a series of 25 full 5-day weeks at work with no break. As most of the people in the working world go "big fucking deal" , it is to me, and I'm wondering just how it is I plan on staying sane throughout the upcoming weeks. Although I love my job, and recently switched from French to Spanish, I foresee several "mental health days" creeping into my schedule. I hate to complain, since I do get almost three months off a year, but a few long weekends here and there would be nice.

• As I was flipping through the channels this afternoon, I happened upon the Jerry Springer Show which bore the title "Pregnant Gals & Mimes". My first reaction was "how does this show stay on the air?" Then I realized it's because it has shows with titles like "Pregnant Gals & Mimes".
• I've been working through my stack of books that I've taken upon myself to consider required reading. I like to try to consider my self quasi-cultured and somewhat well read (although I'm not at all). I've worked through "Siddhartha" and my biography of Che Guevara, as well as "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac which I picked up back in October almost out of obligation because everywhere I turned it was praised because of it's 50th anniversary release and I'd never even considered reading it. My next endeavors are "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Rand (recommended to me by Mikey and also, strangely enough, my mother) "Hunger" by Knut Hamsum and "End of the Night" and "Death on the Installment Plan" by Louis-Ferdinand Celine. This reading list will, of course, take me an unreasonable amount of time to finish since I prefer to pick up my copy of "I Am America and So Are You" by Stephen Colbert or The Onion's "Our Big Dumb World". Both of which I personally consider required reading also.
• A big HOLLA to Julia for getting a job before she even graduated from school! Congratulations!
• I enrolled today for beginning Italian classes at my local community college campus. It was a total impulse decision, but I'm completely psyched about it. I've always wanted to learn Italian, and I figured "hey, what the hell". I also am going to sign up for some classes through my district's IU which seem pretty cool. One is the history of music, which includes a trip to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and another about the history of Pittsburgh's South Side which includes a trip to there as well. Should be interesting, I'll keep you posted.
• I saw a bumper sticker on my way home from work today that read "Hunt With Your Kids Not For Them". This puzzled me and made me wonder when exactly Kid Season is and what kind of permit you need for such hunting. This sticker rivals "Charlton Heston is MY President" as favorite bumper sticker ever.
  

There's just a quick run-down of some goings on in my life. Stay tuned for more!

Yin'z Want Some Guac?

It looks like Rick Sebak will have some new Kennywood memories to rant about on the next PBS special. Complete with serapes and maracas. Oh wait, those are Mexican not Spanish. I'm just trying to be silly. In case you haven't heard, Kennywood is being bought by a Madrid-based company called "Parques Reunidos". And, according to the news, this company buys and owns amusement parks all over the world. Being a Pittsburgh implant, I've never really shared the nostalgic passion for Kennywood as many of my cohorts do. Yeah, the Racer's cool, Potato Patch fries...whatever, Noah's Ark...creepy. I've actually only ever been there a handful of times, but every time I've gone, it's been enjoyable. So, I can see why some people who grew up with "Kennywood Memories" might be a bit miffed by the sellout. However on Channel 4 news yesterday afternoon, Mary Lou Rosemeyer, spokesperson for the park, set all the Yinzers at ease (or at least the racist ones) when she assured Pittsburgh that they do not expect big changes in the park. No they do not expect it "to become a giant taco stand", end quote. Thanks for the careless and stereotypical comment Mar! Well, it would be stereotypical if tacos were Spanish. I think the comment might have been a little snappier, maybe even laughable had it been a paella (or pie-ella) stand. Or even a tapas bar. But a taco stand? I'm sorry Mary, I thought you were in public relations. I thought it was your job to speak to the public. Oh, it is? Get a new job. In her defense, she apologized later that day, and claimed it was meant to be a silly and lighthearted comment. Which, I don't doubt it was meant to be. However, it was careless AND stupid. I mean, if you're going to make a mildly offensive ethnic joke on public television, at least get the punch line right.

TV And Sex Go Hand In Hand

My internet is finally fully functional again! I seem to have a problem with "the router staying connected to the internet" so sayeth the tech guy. Well, yeah, I get that. I'm not THAT big of a moron. But how do I KEEP it connected. Well, when this happened for the 4th time, I gave the old ISP techies a call as soon as I got home. He instructed me to type in a few commands, unplug a few things and recite the Greek alphabet backwards while logging on the the internet. I was just planning on a service request, so I hadn't yet turned my computer on for the day. When I did, while I was on the phone with the guy, for some reason, my internet magically connected and I momentarily felt like the world's biggest douche bag. This fellow, however, was quite nice to me and was very helpful. Unlike previous experiences with such people. I've been pretty fed up with this service provider, also the same one who provides the cable, because they have a complete monopoly over all the media connections in my apartment complex. I am unable to get, say Verizon or Adelphia for example. I MUST go with this small company. Which would be fine (especially because I doubt their tech guys would be willing to come out so often every time I can't find the "ON" button of my computer) except for the fact that they only provide basic cable, with no guide channel. This has chapped my ass for quite a while, because I pay a pretty good penny for basic, shitty cable. I know this sounds like a petty complaint, but I'm single, lazy and need digital recording, dammit. Since digital is out the questions for now, I decided to upgrade my package to include HBO and Showtime yesterday while on the phone. A complete impulse purchase, and one that I have never afforded myself before, and I'm not quite sure why. I simply can't wait to watch all the series and movies now that everyone talks about, and looks at me like an alien when I say I've never seen.

On an unrelated note. I heard a pre-teen singing Soulja Boy's song "Superman" the other day. I've liked this song for a while, and has been one of the inspirations to ease myself back into rap and hip-hop music. I am also a grown adult. I had heard the lyrics to "Superman" were a little inappropriate from a couple people, but never really listened to the words of the song until recently. (Who really listens to hip-hop lyrics that closely?) The lyrics seem harmless enough, although "super-soaking that ho" seems to be a popular refrain. Plus I'm always game for the occasional grotesque or racy lyric. I am also a grown adult. I didn't quite get the meaning behind "Supermaning the ho" until I did a little research. If you care to know what exactly he's talking about, check out the explanation on Urban Dictionary. It's pretty concise. It shocks me that I'm shocked by this in a song. I never used to bat an eye at these things. Am I reluctantly turning into the responsible adult I never said I would be? I think what I take the most issue with is the fact that I heard a 12 year old girl singing this song, clueless and peppy as could be. Maybe it's because I now work with this age group, maybe it's because I'm growing up, maybe it's because I actually do have morals somewhere inside me.

Where Yinz Been N'at?

I have been a little busy/have nothing interesting to post lately, thus a week with no post. But, I will give you a slight update.

My Thanksgiving this year was a bit different than usual. Since I have been on strike for so long, I originally thought I would have work on Friday, so decided to make the trek home to my parents Friday evening where we would hold the traditional turkey feast Saturday afternoon. Well, as it turned out, I didn't have to work Friday and came home earlier, but we still did everything on Saturday. Thanksgiving dinner was steaks on the grill with my parents and a few drinks afterwards with some friends. Friday I met up with some other friends from home and finally finished the book Siddhartha, of which I will post more about soon. Saturday was Thanksgiving for me, but half my family was out of town, so it was doubly strange. I decided to take it upon myself to drink up most of the wine sitting around my parents house to make the family bonding time more bearable. Which brings us to here, as I get ready for a brand new work week tomorrow. As per Jen-nay's post on Thanksgiving tradition and fun old TV re-runs, I did happen to grab Saturday Night Live this week which was a "Thanksgiving Leftover" special. (I assume this had something to do with the writer strike). I always like when SNL does this kind of episode with a montage of really great old clips. Some of my particular favorite Thanksgiving skits are Chris Rock's "Pump The Turkey" commercial and Cinder Calhoun's anti-turkey song on Weekend Update.


Hope everyone had a great holiday!

More Music Please

The first time I heard this song was in the fantastic series finale of Six Feet Under, (which if you haven't seen it, spend the time to watch it.) and never knew the artist or name of the song. But, I knew I liked it. I forgot about it for about a year until just today I saw a trailer for the movie "Awake", which looks a little too creepy for me. It reminded me of just how much I like the song, and made me remember how moving it made the finale. With a little research I discovered the title is "Breathe Me" by Sia. Every once in a while it's nice to have some mellow chill music to jam to.

The Best Cover Ever:

Or at lest one of the best.

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

As Halloween quickly approaches, I'm reminded just how much I love this holiday. One of my favorite parts of the season is the sit-com Halloween specials. Although it's becoming more rare, some of the best Halloween episodes are currently playing on Nic At Nite. (Does anyone else remember when Nic At Nite was "Mr. Ed" and "I Dream of Genie"?) Growing up I used to look so forward to the Halloween episodes of some of my favorite shows, because they always had the coolest costumes, completely transformed their homes and had the best Halloween parties. I think the best sit-coms for Halloween shows were "Roseanne" and "Home Improvement". "The Simpsons" and "South Park" also have to be the best animated Halloween specials out there. Well, the best animated anything, really.

My personal favorite is the "Roseanne" episode below where Darlene is missing half an arm.


I also really enjoy this Halloween special from "Roseanne" season 4.


It's really a shame that this Halloween mania is becoming somewhat scarce. Although shows like "The Office" did a Halloween special, nothing quite compares to the intesity of the early 90's. (Nothing really compares to the sit-coms of the early 90's in general.)

What are some of your favorite Halloween TV moments?

I Forgot How Much I Love:

This Song
This Video
Soundgarden
Chris Cornell

Culinary Delights For All The Senses

It both amuses me and disturbs me that last weekend while watching "Everyday Italian" with my mother, we both screamed at the TV in perfect tandem: "OK, we get it, you're a Dago!" when she started talking about her bisCOOHti and amaREHTTi cookies for the third straight time. Also, if I hear my girl Ina Garten say one more time that she really likes food to look like what's in it while throwing quartered limes on a platter I'm writing both Food Network and the East Hampton City Council nasty letters.

In my own culinary adventures, I've been all over the globe this week. Started out with an awesome 3 cheese 3 pepper enchilada at Mad Mex. Tuesday was $5 carry-out day at a local pizza place, so I couldn't pass that up. Wednesday I met a friend at a Japanese steak house where I had spicy tuna and cream cheese sushi (which sounds repulsive but really kicked ass). The highlight of my Japanese experience (besides the Saki) was the fact that in the middle of dinner, bright disco lights came one and a Japanese-pop version of "Happy Birthday" started blaring while our waitress brought out a half-empty bottle of Grey Goose with a sparkler in it for a 9 year-old boy. Tonight was Quiznos, the real American treat. And tomorrow I'm going out with Jen-nay for my first Ethiopian dinner. (I've decided I'm not eating out at all next week) When I told a colleague today that I was going to an Ethiopian dinner, she asked how it was possible to have an entire restaurant based on a country that doesn't eat. I do love subtle racism in the work place.

In other work-related news, I overheard another colleague saying that Lifetime movies should be shown in school to teach students real life lessons.

This weekend should prove to be interesting and very indie, so I'm sure I'll be blogging that.

Best For Bear Bottoms

As I sit here, pissed that I let myself get sucked into a predictable abc family movie starring Julia Stiles and her mediocre acting abilities, I am reminded that it's time for me to bitch some more about commercials that disgust me. The culprit this time, like my earlier rant about Air Wick, deals with personal and home hygiene: Charmin. All of the Charmin commercials with the animated shitting bears have always chapped my hide a bit. (I do enjoy their slogan though, "Best for Bear Bottoms" Hmm...sounds like a Craigslist I once responded to...) I believe it is because of the sheer tactlessness guised as cute humor. In the newest installment, we see Mother Bear chasing her cub with a broom and vacuum sweeping all of the toilet paper residue off his butt. The new product ensures less toilet paper on your ass. What a claim! I personally can't think of many other less pleasant things to hear about during prime time. BUT, because it's a cute bear, we can secretly relate and thank Jesus we don't have to worry about paper ass again. Another cute new one is of two bears running on the beach with worried faces. One red, the other blue. Then, two outhouses come into view. Again, one red, one blue. The doors open to find two Charmin products inside. The red is extra strong toilet paper, while the other is gentle and soft. The two then run into their respective port-a-potties, alluding to just what kind of shit they are about to take. Oh, and Handel's "Alleluia Chorus" is playing the whole time in the background. (Please note title of this version)
Some people choose to focus on gay-bashing Snickers commercials, or racy Super Bowl ads, but I seem to direct my hatred towards animated bathroom humor.

Why do people think this is cute?

Ummm, Hillary?

It's sad but true, I'm becoming less and less enchanted with Hillary Clinton as time goes on. Don't get me wrong, I would vote for her in an East Hampton minute if it means a vote against a republican. But if nothing else, her cackling on FOX news yesterday morning would have been enough to seal the deal for most. She seemed a little high, which could prove to be interesting I suppose. Hillary did a bunch of talk shows yesterday where she pumped her agenda for healthcare (of which I agree) and apparently tried to show her perfect melange of knowledge and humor, but in my humble opinion just made her look squaky. In fact, the prestigious backdrop of books in her interviews was actually a set created in a room in the back of her house for interviews. I'm sure a lot of people do this, but it's just terribly annoying. Watch this clip of her interview with Chris Wallace from FOX (who is a total douche bag by the way, but aren't they all at Fox News?) This unreasonable laugh was brought about by this question from Wallace, "Why do you and the president [Bill Clinton] have such a hyper-partisan view of politics?" Now, to me, that does seem like calling the kettle black coming from him, but really Hillary, Really?



I'm also a little pissy with her definite stance against marriage equality. And am wondering also about her new drop of her maiden name Rodham. Maybe sounded a little too matronly.

I also enjoy this clip of Fred Thompson campaigning at the NRA convention (insert any form of douche-bag here) All thats missing from the applause is a couple open-air straight up shots.